Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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