Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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