Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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