THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
