Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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