I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
