awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
