Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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