it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
