Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
