But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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