I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he shaved USA in his pubs
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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