Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
