I want to make a zoo with you.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
