She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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