New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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