What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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