Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
