just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
