I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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