Someone shit on the floor
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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