I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
