addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
