apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
