We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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