Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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