But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
