I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
