Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
