You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this just has baby written all over it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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