yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
