I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Randomize
