The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
me + whiskey = a bad person
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
