If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
