Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
