i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
