Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
