The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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