id be glad to
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
