he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
