but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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