Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
