About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
