I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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