Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
