Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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