Your tits are I can't wait for
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
