Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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