He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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