Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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