i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I bet he comes in French.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
