we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
