I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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